let my mind speak...

2006-10-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Unselfish

Before I even open
my eyes, I’ve fallen short and,
confusion and delusion is caving in and filling in
and I'm,Living in this world I am foreign,
all I though my life’s forgotten,
I forgot that I belong to You I trust in.

You carried the whole world for me,
You shed Your blood, You lived and died for me.
You came to the world to save me,
You sent Your Son, You gave it all for me.

I’ve given up, I gave my life to
Serving You and living for You,
compassion and Your love is pouring in and showing me what is,
You are the only way in,
the only place to be in,
You made for us to be with You forever.

You carried the whole world for me,
You shed Your blood, You lived and died for me.
You came to the world to save me,
You sent Your Son, You gave it all for me.

2006-10-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

My Saving Grace

2 days ago 7 o’clock
I realized that I should have stopped
taking over my life as I like
when everything is falling apart.
You’ve let me see what I couldn’t be
You set me free and I agree
You are the one that I need
Now I believe.

I’ll never know if I’ll never go
‘cause You alone the One who knows
the only One I trust is my Fortress
You light my life You gave me peace.
You comfort me, You’ve given me
the only gift of eternity
now I can feel Your embrace
I wanna see Your face.

Everything happens, everything falls in place
all you have to do is call His name…

You are my Savior, You are my Grace,
my only Redeemer, the only One I praise…

my Saving Grace…

2006-10-03T06:03:00.000-07:00

Under His Wings

In life there are a lot of ups and downs,
winning and losing to temptations and deceptions
livin’ our life as if we know our own reasons,
stumbling over doesn’t mean that its over…

I feel so safe…

I’ll feel ashamed, if I’ll loose to the devil’s game,
but don’t worry, hold His hands it’ll be easy.
you will find comfort, our enemies will falter,
trusting and believing that He’ll do everything…

I’m under, under His wings
I’m under, under His wings.

… I feel so safe.

There will come a time that you will be tested,
everything’s blurry all your senses are turning.
don’t be afraid even though the place is eerie,
trusting and believing that He’ll do everything…

I’m under, under His wings
I’m under, under His wings.

… I feel so safe.
… I feel so safe.

2006-07-04T13:29:00.000-07:00

No tree
Listen to this...

A storm passed by the life of a bird, a bird that never knew his plans will be destroyed along with his fruit bearing tree. The storm passed and left him helpless and drained. No fruit, no food, and nothing on his tree. Frustrated he may seem he tried to look for sources resembling his lost tree. Then along came the wind. Now this bird had the chance to travel from place to place carried by the wind that came across the state. Riding with the wind he seeks the tree that will provide. The wind you may not see in the sky but it brought happiness and fulfillment to this bird’s desire. Now the flock that didn’t share the same fate as his, thinks that he has left and gone happy with the wind. What they don’t know is this bird is doing his best to have his life back again and be part of the flock again. Now is it the bird’s mistake? When the storm gave him this fate? And then they speak of what they don’t understand …

2006-06-15T10:13:00.000-07:00

After all

Can’t you feel the world is moving faster now
Stop and take a moment to look what's around you
Leaves are falling from the winter trees and rain is pouring
Why do people need to leave to face a new beginning?

My world is falling down
My life is caving in
I want to be part of your life again

Why won’t you believe me now?
I’m trying to change somehow
I never had the chance to reason why
Now I lost my life and wonder why
I left you alone in the ground

I admit that I’m afraid of my own shadow
I’m tired of cleaning all the pain inside
Let’s stop and talk about the things that happened in the past
Removing all the pain and sorrows tonight

2006-03-29T01:42:00.000-08:00

in the middle of the field

A fire within is burning but the warmth of your embrace is missing. As I envision looking at your eyes I suffer with pain of not seeing you. I feel you as I imagine running my fingers down your neck from the back of your head slowly touching your ears and as I reach your unblemished soft tan skin. Ever since I left your side and as I remember your lovely hazel eyes, I cant stop but think on the time we spent where we felt like we were in a castle up in the sky. While I hold on to the memories of your embrace and as I sense your blissful scent my mind cant help it but force my eyes to close and help us unite through mind's eye. My body cannot evade this affection that grew like a wild flower in the field of grass that flourished and be an evidence of care and love from the warmth of you embrace. Now I can’t wait to be with you and show you the love that grew from within that was showered by the passion from your kindness. I have waited this long but now regret has covered my emotions for you have found the one that would be that person I sought to be.

The flower that remains in the middle of the field has been forgotten and weeds has now enclosed the essence of being there. At this time I remain alone surrounded by pain, waiting for the one that would take it all away and bring back the beauty of that flower that would grow and will bring love to the one who took all the pain away.

2006-03-06T23:19:00.000-08:00

It's Time...

A long time has past since I wrote this way; my feelings and emotions seem to be loosing its way. I tried to hide, I tried to pray… but now it seems that I’m really falling away. We tried to talk our differences; we even said we would change, but what now? Have we prevailed or even went on our way? The night you said the trees are going stiff and the fruits are turning dry, the love, the sweetness, these words where we all relied, has now turned against us and betrayed the happiness we thought would keep the fire alive. Now the fire that made us warm is slowly turning into ice. A prison made of ice now holds the love that kept us alive, a prison that keeps the fire raging within that made my heart cold and never touch love again. The fields of grass where flowers bloom and the scent of summer roams, now the land has turned into a ground of hate where nothing but rocks and soil remains while the winter breeze releases its passion for pain.

Now the time has come for me to say that even though the pain remains, a feeling like ours will never be thrown away. Engraved within my soul the love and joy we shared would remain the same…

2005-11-11T02:13:00.000-08:00

a letter to them...

If you are to disown me, so be it… but please hear me say this words if you would permit...

I don’t have the face to display, nor the ability to speak of the words that I am about to convey. With this gift of words that has been given to me, I just hope that you might forgive me. I have used my mind on thinking what is right, using this as I evaluated my own meaning of life not knowing that I can never see the true meaning of life. Walking through the path I know, I realize the path I know is a place where I don’t want go. The problem is I think too much, too much of equality parse that have ruin my values in life. Now I have to know that reality bites. As I go on further, I learn to trust my heart, my heart that is filled with emotion, passion and infatuation. At this point of time I have learned that these is the stage where you’re spirit shouts out to be free. All I can hear is freedom and justice. Freedom! Justice! Right! Shouting at the top of my youthful voice I cry out these words, not knowing the reasons beyond that point. I thought that you can never give what you can never have, but I realize that you are right when you said give and don’t expect that you’ll receive. Now I agree that I can never be, the person that you really wanted me to be. Harsh words cam out of my mouth, word for word I wish that it would all be wiped out but some things can never be out done nor be removed from our mind. I should have listen, I should have done, these words of wisdom that you have ask me to understand. But what can I do now… the damage has been done…

Now I ask forgiveness for what I have done, I felt your sorrow, I felt your distress. All I want now is for you to have your mind be at rest. So I ask you now… I am sorry… for your own good… disown me now…

2005-11-08T18:53:00.000-08:00

Proverbs 10:19
"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise."

Proverbs 12:18
"Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing."

Proverbs 17:28"
Even a fool is thought wise if he keeps silent,and discerning if he holds his tongue."

Proverbs 15:1
"A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger."

why can't i be wiser...

2005-10-21T03:39:00.000-07:00

Wonderland

There is this place where I want to be, a place where people seems to be so happy, a space where you can always be, as blissful as you want to be. There is this place where I want to be, as far as the heavens go, as wide as the sea. A place where I can be, alone within my deepest unknown reality. There is this place where I want to be, where children laugh, smile and play, a place where there is no pain. All I wanted is to be me. There is a place where I want to be, where war is just a word of those who can never see how beautiful the world without killing or even apathy. There is this place where I want to be where people care for me, a place where not only I can see the love of man and it’s humanity. There is this place where I want to be, where I can go run, jump and be free, a place where my agony is behind the smile, no pain, no grief, no sorrow, no vile.

There is this place where I want to be, a place that I know we can never be…

2005-09-20T18:29:00.000-07:00

The puppeteer is not the law!

For those who want the truth and justice,
shout out and give the nation a morning call…

Let us break the hands and cut the string,
Of the so called puppeteer playing master of the year,
Now curse the witch and stop the spell,
So that the theater of the land may be free and uncontrolled.

We can never walk, never choose, or never move,
Because the strings, the tools and the mighty hand,
Is pulling us down we cant even stand.
Now listen to this…

Arrest the cause! Arrest the boss!
Because the puppeteer is not the law!

Now the children of the land is watching,
How the puppeteer destroys the theater we are in,
We vote, we choose, we show our hand,
But the blood is shed, she cheat the land.

They said the hope is in the house,
I heard them say, “protect the law”,
The trial begin and the nation saw,
The puppeteer’s hands became the law!

She used the meat inside the pot,
To convince the house, there is no doubt;
Now where is the rules, where is the law,
It’s in her hands, which destroyed the law!

Arrest the cause! Arrest the boss!
Because the puppeteer is not the law!

For those who want the truth and justice,
shout out and give the nation a morning call…

2005-09-09T00:37:00.000-07:00

Cleansed

I feel the pain cutting through the flesh and even passing through the bones. The grief and the sorrow they cherish me and they are never letting go. I try to fight, to struggle, to brawl, but the embrace of anguish within my soul seems like it’ll never end let go. The body is strong but the spirit is weak, exposed to the attacks of the creatures of this land. I have to draw back, I have to set free, and there I are times even I don’t agree. Is it I who chose this path? Or it has been planned behind my back?

As I shout and cried my rage against humanity I hear this voice that’s been calling me. I stopped. I tried to listen. Its like the voice is coming from within. It showed me the reason the logic behind all things. A strange but meaningful different question has
answered the question of the past, “Why do you struggle? why not think of the right questions to ask?” and then I reminisce the grief and the pain, understanding the purpose and the meaning of this game. Then a blinding light started to erupt, a burst of light showered upon me. Letting me know the purpose of my soul. And then there I was cleansed and saving other souls…

2005-09-08T23:44:00.000-07:00

Hidden eyes

At the midst of day, wanting to look at her face, adoring the breathtaking creature bestowed upon his face, a beauty that he has never seen nor pondered about, was there sitting quietly at his back. Having to wonder everyday when will be that moment that he would be able to stand-up and conquer the mystery of this fine being that brought astonishment to his everyday life. Making sense of every glance and every gaze as he looks at your face. Every time he stares at your face, he recognizes the value of you being there, making his every day complete. So even though you don’t know the joy that you have brought him, though there is extreme happiness and contentment, the only thing he want her to know is…

…It ‘s enough just to have these hidden eyes.

2005-09-04T23:58:00.000-07:00

Castle in the sky

As I stand watching you walk the isle, I ask myself, "Why do you have to be like this”? a goddess of beauty taking form of a creature so breathtaking not a single man nor any living thing has ever seen nor imagined. I have seen you once and now you have been a part of my daily fantasy. Having an exceptional outline of your face, flawless silk-like hair, eyes that sparkle unlike any other heavenly body I have ever seen and that perfect velvety skin. Sophisticated yet simple. Heaven has given me the chance to witness this day, this very moment, the very dream of every man and woman. Even I am waiting for this engagement, the red carpet, amethyst motif of the surroundings, and the sweet aroma of the atmosphere. She made me feel special, giving me the honor to be part of her life. As she walks towards the center of the room, her sweet sincere smile melted my sorrowful heart. Despite the wonderful things that are in front of me, I am still feeling discontented and sorrowful, having to regret this very day. Even this extraordinary and perfect day, I still desire one thing... to be that blessed man at the other side of the isle,

…And not be the BEST MAN.

2005-08-30T23:54:00.000-07:00

A NOT SO GREAT ESCAPE..

Things happen in life, sorrow, pain, burden, things you are not aware that could change your life in an instant.

Suicide. Some people think that taking away these grief and sorrow is the hardest thing that could happen...not looking through the other half of the coin. They ask why they have to pass through these things that would make their life miserable. They are full of questions that they end up taking away the single most valuable thing they have. Their life... think, pray and listen. These are the things that we should remember when going through times of troubles. A point in time when we end-up down, lonely and miserable. We think: “why did this happened?” God will never put you in a situation that you cannot handle. We pray: “Lord, please help me see the purpose of this test, please give me the strength to move on and succeed in this trial you have bestowed upon me...” like a father to a child, he allows certain things to happen and to be experienced by its son. But he would be there to guide and assist whenever needed help. And Listen: God is trying to tell you something, He is teaching you certain things that you cannot learn or understand in times of joy or laughter, "letting a child to be bruised in tough games is like teaching him to be strong in times of hardship".

Life is a gift from God that we need to cherish. It is not ours to give up or destroy...

2005-08-25T22:19:00.000-07:00

why?

The world is such a bitter place to live in. A place where you can feel all the hatred of mankind. A place where all are grasping for air and being devoured by its own wrath. I pity mankind, I pity us... we are the creatures chosen to protect this scoured land, to make sure that it is to be at peace and be in order. But what do we do? We pull each other down, down to the ground. We pull ourselves down to and kiss the dirt of this world were we as man came from. Just dust in the eyes of who is up above. Do we have the right? Instead of being the shepherd of this world, we act as a virus of this land; we consume but do not replace what we devoured.

2005-08-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

Life...

Life is like a world enclosed in a bottle. Trapped within walls of glass where you can see the life of others. Trying to reach-out, trying to meddle with their lives. We try to tap the glass or open the lid of their lives. Chances are we pour our lives within their bottle or rather break and shatter the glass and completely annihilate and destroy their very lives. The glass of bottle is like a symbol of our ego. Vulnerable to every threat of man-kinds wrath. Waiting to be destroyed, damaged, shattered and cracked by people whom we hardly know.~"with my own words" budjett"

2005-08-05T01:59:00.000-07:00

people...

There are people in this world that tries to fit in, tries to be part of the big picture, they are those who bring chaos to the land. They are the ones who alter the balance of mankind...but why? Aren’t we all deviant in this world? Can’t we notice that Clothing lines being purchased by some just to be part of the lesser deviant? Food being prepared and eaten by those who are said rich? Jokes or movies conceptualized by people in the said "money making industry"? Those who can’t see the deviance in those thongs are blinded by their own ego and personal interests. Not having their own likeness or originality.Are you blinded? Can’t you see that all of these trendsetters are considered deviant? Clothing lines made by these famous designers who are being teased as gays and homosexuals are still being sold out to hundreds even thousands of people; Food being made and prepared by chefs that are loners during their childhood days. Even the so called hot shots of Hollywood the make films making hundreds of thousands of dollars per movie are nerds and weirdo during their high school and elementary days.Now tell me, why do we have to fit in? Who set the trends? Do you want to be part of the trendsetters? Or be part of the other half that tries so hard to be named as so called “NORMAL”.

SIDE COMMENTS:
railings,railings,railings... buong metro manila may railings at harang! "d2 po ang tamang sakayan" pero nakalagay sa walang waiting shed! tapos sa may waiting shed bawala mag abang ng sasakyan at bawal bumaba...tsk tsk tsk.. ang labo.

2005-08-04T02:46:00.000-07:00

My First and Not so Special Day...

this is the first day i blogged... im not quite familiar with the whole thingy.. so please.. bear with me

my special day turns out to ba a very boring day...it started when i got of my bed this morning... i dont know if its me, but this day is a slow moving, boring, sleepy, crappy day for me... i just wish this day wont end this way...

to make this entry look like a long one:
"Sitting here in this quiet place, I try to wrestle with this feeling inside, this numbness within that draws me near the darkness of night. I can sense my heart being pierced with something sharp and heavy. Each time I breathe seems to be the last. Listening to the music that crawls through my head, that’s been asking me to focus on every word he says. But what I don’t understand is what does this have to do with everything I feel? Is this guilt, shame and or conscience? Does the body suffer because of what we think? I suppose these are the questions that need not to be asked but really needs enlightenment on us… the question that only we can answer… ~"with my own words" budjett"